Dear Sun Microsystems E6900,
I'm terribly sorry I had to do this through a letter, this didn't need to be done, but I wanted to..
This note will be the last memory you'll ever have of me, I'm done with you because I decided to be with someone new, exciting and 1/4 the weight. Yes, she's a "sexy new-younger model" and is way more interesting.
I should have been honest from the start of this relationship and admitted that you where really too tall for my tastes, anyway. My bad.
Don't let it get you all upset inside, It was completely your fault, no doubt about it. It is because of your history of dragging your ass, taking too much of my personal space and your high maintenance issues, that keep me from being even remotely interested in continuing this relationship with you.
I will be particularly found of the memories of having to hold you late at night, while you wept about not having enough resources, or the numerous times that your thieving nephew, Oracle, would steal your personal space away from you. Why you can't learn from your past mistakes, is beyond me. I'll remember how you would "forget" to do the tasks we agreed upon, and blame it on your failing-aging memory.
You'd be much better off finding someone that can deal with the wonderful way that you make constant promises that you never intended on keeping. I'm not one to "kiss and tell", but I might miss certain things about you, such as your constant nagging for attention. No. It isn't ALL about you, dear. There are others in this family, to consider. What about your poor little sun, V1280? Have you considered his needs? Your brothers and sisters: V490, 280R and let's not forget the black sheep of your family: V120 and his half-inbred daughter V100. They all have needs too and your narcissism is hurting them, so much.
I'm glad this is done and we're going separate directions for good. I think you'll find someone to tend to your constant needs for attention, who doesn't mind carelessly spending their money on your "upkeep" (yes. You ARE one "high Maintenance" lady) and hopefully, we will be incredibly far away.
Forever Truly Yours,